Dreams

(As recorded by my iphone in verbatim)

You know as I sit here and drive back to Stockton; I’m listening to this song by Priscilla Ahn and its called dream. It’s about this little girl talking about what she’s dreaming of and how she hopes it all comes true as she gets older and progresses through life. And I realized, I am living my dream. You know when I was younger I didn’t really want a family, not that I didn’t want it, didn’t dream it. The things I did dream, I have. I dreamt for money, never, never rich, just comfortable, enough to have. I dreamt of having a great house, I dreamt of having great friends and a strong sense of family. as I approach 35, I look and I listen to that song and what I’m doing I realize I’m living the dream that I had when was I a kid. The question is where do you go from here? You know… when you’ve met your dream. Do you just redream? I don’t know.

Just had to share…

We’ve all received emails from our friends with pictures of people doing something utterly ridicilous for whatever reason and the whole world laughs at their idioticy. I’m always glad that I’m not in those pictures because you just never know and we have all been captured doing something not so smart in our past and will again in the future. I don’t usually forward these on, just laugh and close out the email and do my part to end the humiliation by not forwarding. Today though, I have to share three and comment on three pictures from a recent email I received. May the Karma God of Humilitation give me a pass for doing so.

The Walrus picture cracks me up for two reasons. The walrus dick is funny in it’s own right. The second is that the family didn’t know till they got home from vacation, got the film developed and then had a face full of walrus cock in their family photo. Hilarious!

There isn’t a lot to say about this one except they probably bred and it was done in the old country ways via inbred. I feel for them… I do. I also feel for the sheep on the farm.

As always I try to save the best for last and this is it… I can’t even describe what this family was thinking. I love everything about it. I can’t decide which aspect I love the most, the little kid playing with her dad’s fake penis, to the mighty bush on the mom, to the tiny penis on the son or the fact that it was done professionally (see bottom right).

I just had to share and hope that you too laughed as hard as I did at these three pictures.

My Jackass ways…

Along with the normal resentment that is harbored against me, I have also learned that I’m a jackass. Well truth be told, I have always known. So when I think of moving on, I ponder how I manage this with my minimal social activity and the thought of dating sights enter my head. The about me section is always tough to fill out because I feel simple and complex at the same time. So I think I’m just going to fill it with the intention of finding other shallow like minded people. So in the about me section, I’m just going to detail my income, my job title, my house value, the vehicle I drive and a picture of my dick. That should do it… oh ya. I’m a jackass.

Definition of Selfish

1: concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one’s own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others
2: arising from concern with one’s own welfare or advantage in disregard of others
3: being an actively replicating repetitive sequence of nucleic acid that serves no known function ; also : being genetic material solely concerned with its own replication

Selfish. I hear this word often as it appears to be the label that is placed on me by those that matter the most to me. I understand their point of view as they explain it to me, but in all honestly, it’s not so much selfishness on my part as it is more of a lack of understanding on interacting correctly. I “assume” that people will talk about what they want to talk about and not have a requirement of being asking. It’s a fatal mistake and I am aware. Change is hard though. Change requires patience and by the time this subject comes up the patience has all but run out. I keep thinking about this word and it’s meaning. Am I really a selfish person? And the first definition defines one as to take advantage without disregard of the other for their own pleasure. I do seek out my own pleasure but don’t do so in a manner of intentional disregard for another, and especially not to take advantage of a situation. Although I am labeled selfish, I disagree based on the definition and just think and feel I’m misunderstood. I realize the irony of the situation as I post this on my personal blog where there is no feedback, just me talking. Which is what gets me into this mess…

50 Things I learned during the 2008 NBA Playoffs

So I’m cleaning out my email archives and I come across an email I sent out to my friends last year about the 2008 playoffs. Some of these hold true for the 2009 playoffs. Maybe I’ll do another top 50 for the 2009 playoffs…

1. Delonte West is one ugly ass dude.
2. Delonte West is even uglier in high definition.
3. Lebron needs a go-to move. A fading 3 is not it.
4. Lebron needs to develop a post-up game.
5. Ben Wallace is an overrated underrated player and is past his prime. Where’s the fire gone?
6. Ronda is a cancer on the Celtics roster much like he was on the UK roster.
7. KG is an amazing player and one of the all time best but doesn’t have a killer offensive game.
8. The Truth was more impressive in a Spike Lee movie than on the actual court.
9. Pierce is one bad mother to come back from all those stab wounds and play the way he does. He’s lucky too.
10. If I see a Tyler Perry ad one more damn time… it feels like I’ve watched a whole season worth of that show already.
11. The Chucker is definitely the best NBA analyst ever.
12. I don’t miss any Inside the NBA shows.
13. Tivo blesses everyone.
14. Just when I thought Sam Cassell was the ugliest person in the NBA along comes West and closely followed by Rondo. They’re 3 members of the all NBA ugly team.
15. Big Z is one of the rare true centers left in the NBA.
16. After games 1 and 2 of the semis, I think there’s a 25% chance that Lebron is throwing the games. Never seen him play worse.
17. Jeff Van Gundy is my favorite in-game commentator.
18. Every foul is complained about. Nobody fouls anyone in the NBA apparently. The refs make up everyone of them. It’s annoying. Get back on defense when a call doesn’t go your way. Dirk is the worst.
19. Posey will be his generations Robert Horry. Does a lot of little things and is always on the right team at the right time.
20. Kobe is clearly the best player in the league.
21. Kobe winning the MVP was well deserved.
22. The Colorado incident is officially off the Kobe radar. As a result he’s showing his persona. And he’s one cool cat. Shoot ‘em down Kobe.
23. 2008 is the year of Kobe. NBA MVP, Finals MVP and 2008 Champions. It’s going to be a good year.
24. I thought it was a little gay that his daughter was giving him flowers at the MVP acceptance reward though. They were even purple. What guy gets flowers? Things people do for their kids is all I can say. He’s still my fave player.
25. I’m happy for Derek Fisher. That’s a feel good story right there. His little girl is cute too.
26. I’m glad Wally World is back in Ohio.
27. I find it’s odd that Joe Smith is guarding KG when Joe Smith doing the verbal behind the scenes contract with the Wolverines owner set the Wolves back years and cost KG a championship run in his prime.
28. Although I would laugh if Joe Smith shut him down enough that the Cavs advance. I think the new nickname for Joe Smith should be The KG Dream Killer. Everyone would get it.
29. Chris Paul has replaced Dwayne Wade as the next big thing and I’m glad. Never liked D-Wade. CP3 is the real deal while D-Wade will be the next half-assed Penny Hardaway.
30. Shaq is past his prime and Steve Kerr will be fired next year for losing Dantoni and ruining what was at least fun to watch. Rings be damned. The arena was still packed.
31. Shawn Marion is a bitch now and has always been one.
32. Jason Kidd is not half the player he once was. Note: “Triple Double Jason” ~ nasty black dyke in American Airlines Center. Shouted out at least 50 times throughout the game from the upper deck and I believe he heard her every time. Double Note: It didn’t happen.
33. Pau Gasol looks happy to be a laker. He fits right into the triangle offense with his hands and constant motion.
34. Bynum will never return to the form we saw him at earlier in the year. Stick a fork in him. He’s done.
35. I don’t miss Bill Walton and his annoying commentary. There I said it. The big hippy should be gone.
36. Speaking of smoking, I bet Phil Jackson comes up with some great thoughts while baked. And I know he strokes the beard while talking about them.
37. There are always hot ass women in the first couple of rows of every game. I love high definition and the pause button.
38. Deron Williams is a helluva ball player and I’m proud in a weird way that we both lived in the same city.
39. The Booze is one helluva forward. I would also willingly give over my wallet in a dark alley at night. He should be in the WWE.
40. Manu is a flopper. Although I hate it, I have to admit he does his with flair.
41. The defending champs are in serious trouble.
42. CP3 vs. KB24 is going to be one helluva matchup and will go 6 games minimum. Kobe will guard CP3 but CP3 won’t guard Kobe.
43. The Bill Russell and KG halftime interview gave me goose bumps. Bill Russell is all class.
44. Avery Johnson is and always has been annoying. Lil’ Napoleon..
45. How fun was it to watch the Hawks play at home against the Cs? Horford is no punk.
46. I’m certain Pierce flashed his gang sign towards him afterwards. I lost all respect for Pierce as a result. Grow up… No wonder he got stabbed. Wanksta.
47. The Spike Lee feature on Kobe should be interesting and I don’t expect it to be a fluff piece.
48. The Wizards trash talking made me laugh out loud. Haywoods high pitched whiny LeBaby impression was classic.
49. Celtics are never going to win a championship until they can win a game on the road.
50. The Nuggets are never going to get out of the first round. Don’t shake the tree if you don’t want the leopard to come out! They gotta rebuild and it starts with trading Melo.

Ramblings of a confused UK fan

Let’s just jump into a rambling, err rumbling, the whole Commonwealth is abuzz about. Our beloved Big Blue. And for once it’s not about how deep we are going to be advancing in the March Madness tourney but if we’re even going to get in. The 18 year streak is at serious risk of coming to an end if we don’t win the SEC championship. Odds are not in our favor on that.

Recently I was in attendance at Rupp for Senior Night against Georgia and walked out not believing what I had been a witness too.

• The expectations are high every year and anything less than a sweet 16 run is considered a failure. It’s not always realistic but it’s still the expectation that any program with our storied success expects. Same for North Carolina, Duke, Kansas and UCLA. It comes with the territory. Winning games isn’t enough, it’s all about the March Madness tournament and hanging the banner in the rafters of Rupp. Ask Tubby about that. Why am I talking about this? Because even though our expectations are high we have always been a very supportive fan base. That seems to be changing though as our expectations are destroying our support. The loudest moment of the game was when UK fans were booing the 2nd unit. Disgusting is the first thought that comes to mind. These kids are not being paid to entertain us and were working their asses off for us, the fans. The outcome may have not been what we wanted but they still deserve our respect, our cheers and our support.
• The intimidation of playing at Rupp Arena has disappeared. With just a few minutes left in the game and UK trailing by a mere 6 points I noticed Georgia players dancing on the court during a media timeout. Think about that for a second… Georgia basketball players dancing on our court with a few minutes remaining. They had no fear and knew they were going to win. Oh how the mighty have fallen.
• As the seniors left the court for the last time, I also wondered if this was going to be the coach’s last game as well. The loss to Georgia virtually destroyed our invite chances into the tourney. The loss of this game was solely the responsibility of the coach. The starters were benched for too long of a period and Georgia pounced on the second string players and built a lead that we could never regain. We were leading by 1 at halftime…
• As the crowd was gathering to cross the street away from Rupp, you could hear the rumblings of the fans and talk of the upcoming football season. Football discussion in the early month of March? I never thought I would hear a serious conversation along those lines anywhere in the Commonwealth and here I was hearing it outside of Rupp on a Wednesday evening.

As mentioned our chances of getting into the tourney this year are slim unless we win the SEC tourney. And foolishly, the powers that be at UK have already given the assurances to the NIT committee that if we were to be invited we would gladly accept. I know that’s probably the right thing to do from a PR standpoint, but seriously nobody has any interest in UK being in the NIT tournament. It’s best if we just decline the NIT and tell everyone the truth and that our expectations are to get into the March Madness tournament or nothing at all. Recruits don’t want to come to Kentucky to play in the NIT. It’s already a black mark on the record and unless we win the whole thing it will be deemed a complete failure. Even if we were to win the NIT tourney I doubt the banner would even be hung from the rafters at Rupp.

And let’s talk worst case scenario. We lose in the first round of the NIT. How embarrassing would that be and costly to the program. That’s why it’s better to just cut our losses this season and clean out the lockers if we are indeed NIT bound.

Regardless, I will still be a supporter and will be cheering them along the way. Unless they get into the NIT in which case I will erase it from my memory as if it never existed. If you believe it to be true, then it isn’t a lie.

Go Big Blue!

The story of a special dog called Max

The story of a special dog called Max that is my beloved Great Dane.  To be precise his exact name is Maximus.  There have been many names assigned to him over the years but the three that come to mind in a instant are Maximoose, Old Grey Beard and Big Jel.  Maximoose is an obvious reference to his stature.   The more obscure Big Jel is used by the residents of the hive as he is immensely jealous of Leia receiving attention and forcing himself into the action.  He’ll jump out of bed come flying through the house just to stick his nose into the action.  Comical.  Old Grey Beard.  He’s a senior citizen now and has the markings to prove it.

The Max entered my life in the summer of 2000.  I was doing research on Danes and came across his story through the excellent work of the North Texas Great Dane Rescue organization.  Max was found nearly beaten to death and scared under a car hood in a random field somewhere in Texas.  Why someone would do this to a dog is beyond me but he looked beautiful in the pictures and the people he was staying with raved about him.  It was worth a look see and turned into one of my best decisions ever.  Obviously he went home with me that day or you wouldn’t be reading about him now.

It’s fair to say that Max has always been independent and does what he wants.  This works really good in our relationship.  I knew right away that he was different though.  When released from his cage at the PetsMart he wasn’t interested in me and was more interested in sniffing everything and leading me on a wild chase through the store.  Most dogs maul the potential owners and show their affection but not him.  I liked that.

Over the years we have established the alpha male role in our relationship and as such he is very well behaved and listens great.  Unfortunately his good behavior has a tendency to end whenever I leave the house.  He becomes stubborn and just ignores people on a regular basis.  In his mind he’s number 2 on the pecking order and when I’m gone that makes him #1.  He has driven many people crazy over the years with his stubbornness and constant whining for attention.  Nicole dreads having the house to herself for extended periods of time because of this.  I always say it’s because Max misses me and I think that’s true to some degree but at the same time it’d be foolish of me to not recognize that Max is acting out for attention.

You see when I first got Max he wasn’t conditioned for love and it took a whole lot of work for him to come to the realization that I was his friend and would take care of him.  As I stated earlier he had been beaten and as a result his idea of attention was being beaten.  Anything else confused him.  He intentionally would destroy things and act out in front of me to receive negative attention.  It was the craziest thing as he would be down in the scared position but his tale would be wagging like crazy.  I wasn’t very bright either and didn’t recognize that I had to change my behavior as well in order for this to work.  And to be honest this realization and our ability to communicate changed by sheer luck.  Our unfortunate beginning lasted for about 5 months.  Admittedly I was at my wits end with his antics and was beginning to make arrangements for him to go back to the rescue shelter.  It was a Wed. night and I knew that I was going to take him back on a Sat.  So I kind of abandoned him into the back yard and ignored him.  I would open the door to feed and water him and wouldn’t say a word.  Saturday morning I woke up and went to the door to feed him and something was completely different.  Max was sitting there outside the door in a proper position and I thought why not, let’s see how he does.  I opened the door further and beckoned him in; he walked in, looked up at me and went right to his spot that we had been working on for him to lay.  That was it, we never had a problem again.  No more physical punishments were administered and when punishment was necessary he was banished to the backyard and ignored for a day.  He hates being ignored more than anything.  That was the key…  we’ve been on the best of terms since then.

The moose is a very affection dog and will lean on you all day and loves being hugged on.  He doesn’t give kisses though.  I could literally count the number of kisses I’ve received from him on both hands.  It’s not his thing and that’s fine.  He’ll get right in my face, literally 2 to 3 inches away from me but never sticks out the tongue.  Like I said, he’s just unique in his personality.

It’s getting late so I’ll do a quick rundown of the things that I love about the Max!

• He has the best personality and is so laid back and calm
• His interaction with Leia and T-Bird Pelfrey is great.  The two female dogs in my life love the Max.  You don’t know… he’s a pimp.
• His bark.  It is loud and intimidating.
• When he howls whenever fire trucks, ambulances and trains pass by.  Its even more entertaining as he’s gotten older and doesn’t even bother to get up and just lays there howling like a bum.  Cracks me up.
• His lazy nature.  As he’s gotten older he’s probably awake only 4 hours of the day.
• His jealous nature and constant desire for my attention.
• His arsenal of tricks, in particular “Up”  He’s almost as tall as I am when he stands up.  Never ceases to amaze me.
• The way he has taken over my bed.  It’s really his to be honest.  He’s in it about 16 hours of every day. 
• Playing tug of war and watching him get all excited when he wins.
• The ability to catch treats off his nose
• Watching him run in full stride.  He’s so fast. 
• The whiteness that continues to create a beard as he gets older.
• The general likeability that he has.  This feature can’t be said for the other dog in the house.
• Oh and the way the creek makes him crazy.  I don’t know what it is about the creek but every time we return from a walk he runs around the yard for a few minutes and terrorizes Leia and me for fun.  We don’t understand it but its classic and happens every time.

For those that know the big lug you know how good of a dog he is. 

In addition I wrote all of this tonight as a result of joining the North Texas Great Dane Rescue cause on facebook and talked about Max a little there and thought I’d just transfer some thoughts here about him.  So if you love dogs and you love Max, go to their cause and donate a dollar.  Every dollar helps and can make more great experiences and memories for other people with every dog they can find a good home too. 

Of course this story doesn’t end here and is only another chapter in the life of Max.  God willing, we will have many more adventures and great experiences to share together.

 

Kroger’s – Segregates Employees?

This story is about the social structure between black and white employees at Kroger and isn’t intended to insinuate that Kroger’s is a racist company and/or guilty of segregation. It’s just the first time I’ve seen anything like this before and thought it was unique enough to write about.

There are three main sections of the cash out lanes at the local Kroger with the middle lanes being self service with the outer lanes being operated by employees and located near their respective exits. I’m cashing out at the lanes furthest from my exit as the lane was open and there is no point in standing in line, right? As I’m putting my groceries on the belt I noticed that there are all the employees working the lanes I’m in and around are black. I didn’t think anything of it other than not remembering Kroger’s having so many black employees before. After purchasing said groceries, I crossed through the self service lanes to the exit nearest my ride and noticed that the other lanes were being operated by white employees. There was a clear cut segregation in the cash out lanes by the employees. The south lanes were being operated by black people and the north lanes being operated by white folks.

I should mention that age was another factor in this segregation as the black people were younger and the white people were older. Still though, it was a little odd to see, especially since it wasn’t that Kroger’s was only operating one or two lanes, but had at least 4 lanes being run in each section. It seemed to make the segregation that much more noticeable.

Like I said, nothing unusual other than my noticing it and thought it was unique to see.

The Death of the Great Guardian of Lyndon Lane

It is with a sad heart that I write about the death of the great guardian of Lyndon lane.  The mighty oak fell last week as a result of damage bestowed upon him during the great windstorm of ’08 a few weeks back.  The damage wasn’t discovered until a few weeks later while I was walking the yard during one of the last great days of autumn.   The crack ran from the main fork near the bottom of the trunk.   I would approximate that it was every bit of 10 feet long and it went through the trunk to the other side.  Basically the crack pierced through the heart of the tree.  Death has once again struck the hive. 

Now I know deep in my heart that the tree is essentially dead and has no chance for recovery.  I maintain hope, because that’s what I do in these circumstances.  I attempt to locate an arborist that will confirm the news that I want to hear that we can repair the damage and/or salvage one half of the majestic oak.  No such luck was to be found this day.  Instead confirmation was given that it was indeed dead.  In the circle of life, where there is death there is life. 

Although the oak was a mighty guardian and beautiful in stature it was a hindrance to the life cycle below its large shadow eclipsing branches.  I mention this as the front yard is being destroyed to further enhance the beauty of the hive.  I have a large landscaping plan that consists entirely of plants and shrubs that thrive in the shade.  So in looking at the bright side of things I can now go back to the drawing board and redo my landscaping project to include the addition of sunlight.  The timing of the tree removal was fortuitous  I reckon as I would’ve hated to have finished my massive landscaping project and then have to go through the whole ordeal of watching my plants burn to death during the days of summer and having to redo it all again later.

In every situation there is humor to be found, whether it be obvious or more subtle.  As I have written I was saddened by the prospect of the oak being taken down.  The timing of the discovery couldn’t have been worse as a winter storm is quickly approaching.  To make matters worse I am having difficulties locating an arborist.  The arborist I have used in the past has apparently gone out of business so I’m starting from scratch.  A coworker recommends a landscaping company called “Landscape Tech.”  Luckily for me, a good ‘ol country boy named Tommy answers the phone.  I am telling him the details of my predicament when he cuts me off mid sentence and yells anxiously “Son!!!  You have yourself a tree emergency!!”  I can’t do the sentence justice, but trust me it was hilarious!   On a side note, if I am ever to be given horrible news I would like it framed in that exact manner,  “Son!!!  Your girlfriend’s pregnant!!!”  or “Son!!!  You’ve only got 6 months to live!”  I think I would take the news much better, I don’t know for certain but I think I would. 

Back to the story…  Next thing I know Tommy is telling me that he’s getting in his truck right now and will call me back as he’s heading to Lyndon and hangs up!   The problem here is that Tommy doesn’t have any details on how to contact me or where he’s supposed to be heading.  All he knows is Lyndon.  It’s a small community but I’m going to give him one in a million odds of finding my tree without the address.  To make matters worse he’s not answering my return calls to give him my contact details.  I leave my contact information and address in hopes he checks his messages and isn’t just driving around Lyndon looking for a large oak tree with a split down the middle.  I didn’t know what to expect.  In the meantime I am listening to JV hollering in the background “Rufus!!!  Get in the damn truck; grab the chains and chain saw!!  We’ve got ourselves a tree emergency!!!”  We spent all day torturing everyone in our area with loud exchanges of “Son!!!” and “Rufus!!!”  Subsequently we were banned from the area relatively quickly.  Shortly afterwards, Tommy called me onsite, apparently he got my address from my message.  I think you know what happens next; Tommy confirmed my fears.  The mighty oak guardian of Lyndon Lane was to be no more.

I said my goodbyes to the tree the morning of with a beautiful burnt orange sky as the sun rose one last time on the largest tree in Lyndon.  I will never forget the burnt orange sky background against the mighty limbs of the oak that morning.  It was to be discovered that the oak was 67 years old.  Quite a life it had and I can only imagine all that it saw there at the hive in it’s lifetimes.  I only know the past 4 years but I can assure that the tree didn’t lack excitement in those 4 years guarding the house.

Lack of updates? Blame Microsoft… It’s the devil.

Sorry for not writing lately but I’ve been a little busy. With what you ask? Well the truth of the matter is that I’ve been sucked into the magical world of xbox. I’ve always been a gamer but quit playing for a while. About two months ago my original xbox crapped out on me. 5 good years and done. I’d been putting off purchasing the xbox 360 because the original xbox suited me fine. I was still able to post regulary while trying to fit in the new xbox 360 experience. All of that changed one Wednesday evening a couple of weeks back. An old friend of mine called one night to see what was going on and during our convo we discovered that we were both playing the xbox regulary. He was doing the xbox live experience with some friends of his and told me that I should be playing online. Now I grew up on Doom and Quake and was already used to the online experience. I’m not sure why I never upgraded to get online with the xbox because I loved playing Doom and Quake back in the day. Well suffice it to say it didn’t take much persuasion for me to break down and join the xbox live universe. I went out almost immediately and purchased the necessary xbox live equipment including the wireless headset so I can do my usual chatter of craptitude and a wireless connection along with the year subscription. Quickly I made some online friends and we have been playing almost nightly climbing the ranks and perfecting our strategies on different maps. It’s addicting. Before I know it, 3 or 4 hours has just passed by and I go crap that was a wasted evening. So now I’m trying to find a balance where I can still be creative, productive and even more of a couch potato! It’s a fine line.